Amnon was one of David's many sons from several wives. We expect that there might be some issues in the house because 1 Kings 1:6 leads us to believe that David had little to do with his children. Sure enough 2 Samuel 13 starts us out on some of his family issues.
Amnon was probably a spoiled kid who had servants tend to his every whim, after all he was royalty. So Amnon was used to getting what he wanted until one day when he realized how much he wanted a half sister, Tamar.
His desire for her turned quickly into an obsession so bad that it threw him into utter depression. Seeing this his friend pumped him for information, and knowing why Amnon was so depressed, his friend gave Amnon a plan to help him get what he wanted, so through cunning, Amnon trapped Tamar in his own room and raped her.
Having got what he so desired; his passion turned ugly and he wanted nothing more to do with his sister who's life was ruined for having been raped, and everybody knowing it, no man would have her. His obsession for his sister turned into hatred after he got what he wanted.
What a mess!
What was going on in this guy's head? Is this something real people today do?
Nobody has ever come to me and told me anything like this; but it seems all to human. There are people obsessed with what they can never have and there are people who, once they get the object of their desire, lose interest; so this may be more common than I realize.
I know that in my dating years there was a girl or two I liked until they liked me back; and as soon as they showed like interest, I lost interest in them. I never went beyond simple talking, so no one was seriously hurt. But why was I interested until they were interested in me? Somehow these girls were far more attractive when they were unreachable.
1. It may be that I loved the pursuit itself more than the girl involved.
2. It may be that I lost respect for them when I saw how easily they fell into my charm. Some joker somewhere said that "If someone likes me, there must be something wrong with them."
Whatever the reason in my case, I can only read similar feelings into Amnon (even though his feelings were far more intense than mine were). So maybe he was in love with the idea of pursuing his step sister more than he was with her; and once he accomplished his goal, she meant nothing but a mistake to him.
CONCLUSIONS
His was a nasty act. He ruined a girl's life for his own passion and goal to conquer. I don't think he thought about that before he raped her - in fact, all he could think about was his need to have sex with his step sister.
Adultery is like that. Most people don't think of or don't care about consequences. All they can think about is getting close to the other person.
When you are in this frame of mind, it is not good. Thinking about consequences is not a priority. Thinking about consequences is darkened by your need to get close to the other person.
If someone tells me they are thinking about an adulterous affair, I tell them to stop fantasizing about the steps up to and into the affair, but start fantasizing about the consequences. Think about what your world would be like after the affair. I don't know if everyone benefits from this, but I know it helped me a lot in my early days.
For me it was helpful to think about the complications and commitments, the trust lost in my marriage, hurt kids, hurt wife, my own disappointment in myself, and so on. Adultery comes with a price.
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