I Don't Like Doing What I Like Doing

The last part of Romans 7 records Paul's struggle with his desires and actions against God's demands.  Paul knows what God demands for us and realizes that he cannot live up to God's demands.  He wants to follow in step with God, but does not.  And because he cannot keep up with what he knows to be right, he considers himself a miserable wreck.  In the end, he finds his hope, not in trying to live up to God's standards, but by simply following Christ.

This struggle is something most of us face.  We are given rules and standards from society, from parents, from our faith, and from within us.  We accept those rules and standards and believe that everyone including ourselves should live by them, but like the Pharisees of old, we hold on to higher standards than we can or do follow ourselves.  This creates a dilemma.  What are we to do? 

Different people deal with this struggle in different ways, but some of the more popular ways are as follows.

BEAT YOURSELF UP

I know I can live up to a higher standard, but I just screwed up.  Ugh!
I am so stupid sometimes!
I can't stand doing that!
I am better than this!
Why do I do this?

JUSTIFY OR MAKE EXCUSES FOR YOUR BEHAVIOR

He deserved that.
God wants me happy.
There's nothing wrong with this.
Others are doing it.
I deserve a break.
I am not hurting anyone.
What my husband/wife doesn't know won't hurt him/her.

DENIAL

I'll be better next time.
I would never do such and such.

In all of these, there is a standard that is set but not met.  We find different ways to deal with those standards, but it all comes down to one thing - no matter how good we are, whether our standards are based on the Bible, or based on our upbringing, or based on society's written and unwritten rules,
we cannot and do not always live up to those standards.

THE GREAT DISCONNECT

The Great Disconnect is the result of someone convincing himself that because he values a standard so much (whether Bible, society, upbringing - usually all three combined) that he is a better person than he really is.  The religious leaders of Jesus day did this.  They valued the Law of Moses so much that they believed they were somehow better at following it than they really were.  Jesus called them hypocrites because they became actors who could put on a great show in public; but inwardly they did not match what was going on publicly.  Their love of the Bible masked the reality that they fell short of the Bible's standards.

I AM BETTER THAN THAT

Recently in the media 2 different people have made apologies to others saying in effect, "I am better than what I did." And "That wasn't who I am."  They implied that their actions in stress and temporary anger did not define who they were.  They implied that the person who did a stupid thing out of anger was not them - it was someone else.  Their view of who they are and what the standards they hold on to did not match what they did.  Call this split personality; call this temporary insanity; call this what you may, but it is not taking responsibility; it is not accepting the truth; it is denial; it is the inability to accept the fact that "I am capable of evil."  Both of these people defined themselves on what they believed in more than what they did.

I call this the great disconnect.

HOW THE GREAT DISCONNECT SETS US UP FOR DISASTER

If I believe that I am better than I am, I set myself up for those rare moments in life when the worst of me can surface.