Adultery - Pride Comes Before the Fall

The best way to keep out of an affair is to be prepared for the day when you will want to have the affair.

Of course if you probably think you would never want to have an affair because:
1.  You are happily married.
2.  You love Jesus too much.
3.  Your standards would not allow you to.

If you find yourself in any one of these or many other categories that tell you that you are safe, you are a likely candidate for an affair.

Your confidence is a mistake that leaves you most vulnerable.  Because of your confidence, you will not be set up for the unexpected, and affairs often begin unexpectedly.  The Bible says pride comes before the fall, and there is moderate pride in your believing that you are ready for anything that may come your way and that you don't need to take steps to protect yourself.

A good looking couple once stepped into my office looking for help.  The husband did not consider himself much of a follower of Christ, and both of them agreed that the wife was a very strong Christian.  They were coming to me to tell me that the wife had an affair and wanted to know why.

Her words to me were very clear, "I don't know what happened."  Even after talking and listening to her in private for an hour (I did have a window on my door), she still had no idea how she, a follower of Christ, could possibly have had an affair.  But as I listened to her, I saw that while being a great Christian, she set herself up long beforehand for the affair.  Even while she told me in detail every step she took to get into the affair, she still could not see how the affair happened.  She couldn't see it because she was so convinced that being a good Christian would and should protect her from falling.  She believed so much in her strong Biblical values and knew that those values were good and right, that she made a huge blunder.  She mistook her belief in values with the ability to follow those values.

The book of James addresses this issue.  James saw that the Christians within his own group knew the Law so well that they became firm believers that they were protectors of good doctrine and the right teachings.  Their devotion to knowing the Law and believing in the Law was so much on their minds that they neglected to see that they were not living up to the standards they believed in or taught to other people.  They were like the preacher who speaks out against adultery while indulging in the same.

Believing in and holding to certain standards does not mean we live up to those standards.  James says that believers in the Law who are justified before God, but doers of the Law.  Believing so strongly in Biblical standards often blinds us to the reality that we are unable to live up to those standards.  Somehow we convince ourselves that with minor exceptions, we are followers of the standards we hold so dear. I call this the "Disconnect."

The young woman in my office took no steps to protect herself from temptation because she was confident that she was a strong Christian who valued morality so much that she would never give in to immoral behavior.   After all, she loved Jesus.