Good Intentions

There are different ways we get lured into the adultery trap.  These are two of them that come to my mind.

1. A very common trap is arrogance, pride, or simple certainty that I would never cheat.  I already talked about this in this blog stream.  Even simple certainty is deceiving because we don't know our limits nor have we experienced every possible scenario.  A lot of people who come to me for counseling were very certain they would never commit adultery because they were so much against adultery.

2. Another trap that is more common than it seems it should be is the need or desire to help someone else out.  This trap hides behind good motives.  You probably heard many times how important motives are and if someone means well, many faults can be excused.  But meaning well can be a nasty trap.

I have heard this scenario on several occasions and faced it when I was in my dating years.  Someone you may or may not be attracted to from the opposite sex needs you.  They may tell you they need you or you think they need you.  You want to help them out and you know you have what it takes to help them.

In my case, I dated a girl a couple of times and decided that although she was not someone I could get serious with, I could help her get closer to God.  So I made plans on discipling her and casually dating her at the same time.

My first step was to take her to church.  The service was nothing to write home about - it was okay.  After the service a Navy man introduced himself to me and told me how he decided to disciple a young girl when he lived in Hawaii.  In the end she dragged him down into a terrible affair.  Now I never told him anything about the girl I was with, so I got the message loud and clear from God.  Give the girl to God and let God take care of her.  I took her home and never saw her again.

Years ago a young married woman who was trying to get out of the beginnings of an affair (she had not yet gone the distance, but was emotionally attached to a man who was not her husband) told me that the man she had fallen for needed her to help him with the break up.  I told her to let it go and leave him to God.  I told her my story and warned her about her good intentions.  She did not feel right about about letting him go, but did let him go.  Today she is happily married (as happily as marriage goes, I suppose) to her husband and does not have to deal with guilt or memories from an affair.