While Israel was living in that region, Reuben went in and slept with his father’s concubine Bilhah, and Israel heard of it. (Genesis 35:22).
I have around 20 blogs, containing hundreds of writings. By far the most popular is one that asks why Reuben had sex with his step mother.
In the 21st Century Western world, what Reuben did was unbelievable; but in the context of his time and culture, Reuben was making a statement. In today's world, sex is either about intimacy and love or it is about dominance and hate (such as in the world of rape).
When Reuben had sex with his step mom; it was about dominance, hatred and revenge - not against his step mom, but against his father who had recently revealed to the entire family that Reuben (who was the first born and the expected heir to ruling the clan) was not the most important son. There was another who was more important than Reuben - For the father and head of the clan, Joseph who was the 11th son of 12 was much more important than Reuben.
Upon learning about this twisted preeminence, Reuben lashed out.
Centuries later when King David was thrown out of his own city by his son, his son raped 10 of David's live in girl friends (Concubines). David's son Absalom did this openly, publicly, on top of the palace in front of the entire nation. In today's world he would have publicized it and would have done it on TV for the whole nation.
David and Absalom lived in a war dominated society, so raping and killing was a part of dominating another group or nation. When Absalom raped David's concubines, he was telling the world that he was cutting off all ties to his father and that his father was powerless before Absalom.
When Reuben raped his step mom, he did it out of revenge without thinking of the consequences. He got caught up in his intense pain and hatred brought about because of a huge injustice done to him. He lashed out to even the score by raping his step mom; but he did not plan for all the consequences. Reuben was to angry to think clearly about his distant future. His father found out about Reuben's act.
For years to come Reuben's had to live under his father's leadership and control of the family. For years Reuben would take advantage of any opportunity to make up for what he did; but nothing worked. On one occasion he tried saving the life of his brother Joseph and bring him back safely to his dad, but his plans failed and as the unspoken leader of the brothers, he failed to protect Joseph. When the family faced starvation because of a drought, Reuben was unable to get his father to act in the best interest of the family. He simply lost every part of his father's respect.
Not only did he lose any respect from his father, for years his father never mentioned anything to Reuben about the affair. He held it all in and built a wall between him and Reuben until his deathbed, when Reuben's father poured out his anger toward Reuben. The day Reuben slept with his step mom, he lost everything.
There are several movies and TV shows where someone has an adulterous affair with another and things seem to go great for awhile. But eventually the other person, who was so good looking, turns out to be a stalker, a killer, or a certified whacko. In the end, the person who had the affair needs to protect his/her family from the person he/she had sex with.
I have seen this to a lesser degree, where a guy committed adultery with a woman who turned out to be very possessive and stopped at nothing to ruin his marriage. In the end, he was able to convince his naive wife that nothing ever happened between him and this other woman. But he only convinced her because his wife didn't want to face the hurt that the truth would bring to her.
Affairs are so attractive that they bring down presidents, preachers, and leaders. Affairs are so compelling that the finest, the most noble, and the most pious people in the world fall into them. But affairs carry with them unforeseen consequences that are often far more destructive than could ever be dreamed of. I have never talked to anyone who said, "My affair was the best thing that every happened to me." But I have run into many who have said one way or another, "My affair ruined me."
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